Diversions
by Caruncle
Summary: 'I walk around, try to understand where we went wrong and I can't pretend. And it wasn't me, it wasn't you but I'm convinced, we gave up too soon' Maybe- Enrique Iglesias B/R fic, please read and review. Contains spoilers for season 6
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, its my first himym fic (my first fic in awhile actually) I'll try and be good and keep updating regularly. I hope the grammar is ok (its not exactly my strong point). I hope you enjoy it! Please read and review- thanks G xx **

**Oh and sadly I don't own any of the characters- himym does **

As soon as she walked into the bar they could all tell it had been a bad day- and they were right- it had been awful.

As much as she enjoyed looking down and seeing an ID hung round her neck that was she was actually proud of she didn't know how much more 'report research' she could bear. Yes she wanted to be a network anchor, and yes she knew that didn't just happen, but she had spent the whole day researching the origins of the word 'LOL'- which was now actually recognised as word according to the Oxford English dictionary...She'd found out everything there was to know about it; including origin (strangely it was first used in the 60's when people in England had used to describe little old ladies), famous users, even a two page lists of alternatives- you name it- she had researched it. But yet again, for the sixth time, out of six, the producers had chosen to take it no further. She was sick of it. So as she slid into the booth, Ted wrapped his arm protectively round her shoulders and Lily took hold of her hand.

'Rough day?' She just nodded; she didn't want to piss them all off again with the same story as yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. It just felt like she was going round and round in circles, and it wasn't being made any better by the big birthday that sat looming in two weeks time. 30, she was going to be 30 years old and what had she got to show for it?She wasn't in her dream job, she didn't own any property, she'd barely travelled and she was still single. She was surprised by how much the fact she was single was starting to bother her, almost more than the other stuff combined. It was like everywhere she looked people she knew were either getting married, having children or at least in a relationship that looked convincingly as if it was headed for either or both of those things. But she wasn't even close. She hadn't been on a date in a long time, and it wasn't as if this was the problem- she didn't enjoying dating. Getting that nervous feeling in your stomach as you sit either over a meal or drinks telling each other mindless details about yourselves; depending on what you do or do not say then either makes you 'compatible' or not, and even if you are 'compatible' this just leads to more mindless conversation- which in return usually leads to average sex. God she was cynical now. But she'd been through this scenario so many times- it was almost becoming mandatory.

Well, almost always. As the gang carried on talking round her in the booth, she thought back to her most recent relationships. First of Ted, as much as she'd tried to force herself to be happy with Ted, she had to admit, although great as friends, in a relationship they weren't right together. Besides, he was so happy with Zoey right now. They genuinely seemed like the perfect fit. Zoey loved all the things Robin had either pretended to like, or sometimes when the pretence was even too much had just had to come out and say. Take the cowboy boots, Zoey had even bought a matching pair just to humour him...that just wasn't her style.

Her mind then wondered aimlessly onto Don. He had been everything, to a tee, that she had ever wanted. He ticked every box she on every list she had ever written (in her mind of course...Only Ted would be that lame...) But then why when he left she did she not go after him? He said all the right things without even being asked, but as much as she had convincingly kidded herself at the time, something was missing. And the only reason she knew that 'something' was possible, was because that 'something'- pretty much completely personified- had just walked into the bar.

Barney. He was impossible, had been impossible and would probably always be impossible but my god he got her. Effortlessly, he'd say things that sounded so wrong to everyone else, but to her, just sounded, well, perfect... And there was no doubt about the fact that he was the best sex she'd ever had, by miles. But it didn't feel rehearsed, maybe he was just that good, it was just like he knew her, right from the first time. She still couldn't help but smile at the irony of Ted attempting to teach him how best to make love to her. Ted had never got it- Barney had, every single time...

She flicked back to reality and just watched him at the bar, he was talking to some pretty twenty something girl, who was probably lapping up every word of his latest lie. But then he smiled and walked away. And then she remembered, even he was in a relationship now, a relationship she'd helped set up. She didn't know this why, but this point seemed to be the tip of the iceberg, oh who was she kidding, it was the frickin' iceberg wasn't it? It had been ever since that day he'd come up to her appartment- she'd berated him for not calling Nora, but secretly, she could feel her smugness rising, he had chosen her; but it the plug was snatched out when she realised her wires had been severely crossed, so he hadn't chosen her after all- he had chosen Nora. And it had hurt more that she thought it would.

Suddenly she saw of Scotch under her nose. She looked up and saw him smiling, or at least that's what everyone else saw, but she saw the glint of concern in his eyes- she bet Nora couldn't spot that. Ok enough with the pettiness, that's never going to help...well, maybe a little bit.

'Thanks,'

'No problem, looked like you needed it. So what topic was it today?'

'L.O.L,' she sighed as she ran her finger round the rim her glass, still avoiding eye contact with everyone.

'LOL? Are you going new age on us all Schebartsky?' His tone was so whimsical she couldn't help but smile. She looked up to confront his 'mockery'

'No, that was my topic, the word LOL. According to the Oxford English dictionary it is now officially a word'

'You spent a whole day researching a three letter acronym?' She looked back down at her glass; it was all part of their act. She wasn't remotely angry, in fact she was smiling for the first time all day. She heard him trying to stifle his laughter which was silenced only by Lily's death stare which made him look down into his drink, but he was still smiling. Before adding one more LOL. This made her smile more, even though she tried to hide it, he wasn't winning that easy! God she was lame, but he made her smile...

'Don't listen to Barney; I think it would have been a very interesting feature' Marshal- ever the diplomat.

'No, its fine, I completely agree it the most pointless story. I'm sorry I've been so down, the thing is I quit my job to do something I could be proud of and I'm now getting paid less for something I hate doing,' She needed to stop this rant, the last thing she wanted to cause a scene or have everyone give their advice of what she should do. She just wanted to change the topic, but she knew it was coming, yep, Lily opened her mouth an-

'So, guess who's got a hot new secretary?' Barney pipes up, to everyone else in the booth he seems insensitive, but it was just what she needed.

'Barney, we're kinda trying to talk to Robin...'

'No guys its fine, so how hot we talking here? An 8, or even a 9?'

'A 9?_Scherbatsky_ would I even reference her if she was anything below a 9.3?'This made her smile, god why was he so good at doing it! 'Coincidently, she was a 9.6- up high!' Ted meets his hand over the table, only to be met by more death stares from Lily.

'Well you shouldn't really be referencing it at all now should you?' Lily pipes up again. And so, yet again, she's reminded that her fellow terminally single friend is now no longer in her club, and she stops smiling. And then, almost as if right on cue, she walks into the bar. She turns heads, far more than Robin ever had, but she doesn't care, she just walks straight over to Barney. She kisses him on the cheek and gestures to Ted and Robin to scoot down the booth a little- how dare she? Why can't she just get a chair like a normal person? But of course they scoot, after all she is freakishly small, she only needs about half the space Robin needed anyway. After small talk was exchanged a brief silence fell on the booth, until Robin heard Nora clear her throat,

'So did you tell them?' The whole booth looked at Nora intently,

'Tell us what?' Lily asked reflexively. Robin could sense this wasn't going to be good news, or rather, it was depending on who's point of view you looked at.

'You haven't told them?' Nora was now looking incredulously at Barney, and Robin suddenly felt very protective- couldn't she just give the guy a break once in awhile?

'Told us what?' Lily asked again, this time with more urgency, her tone also echoed the hopeful tone of Nora's. God, why was everyone so hopeful? Ok, definitely starting to sound like a bitter sixty year old now, enough with the cynicism...

'I wanted to wait til th-' Barney started, but he was interrupted by a high pitched British accent,

'We're engaged!' The whole booth went silent, just as her head exploded. They were engaged, ok, no! Not ok! Cynicism didn't even play a part in this! They had just met, they, he, w-. Even her mind couldn't keep up, so as everyone else had got up to congratulate the happy couple, she was still sat motionless. But then she realised, she wasn't. She was smiling, and before she knew it she was up on her feet, in the queue to congratulate Nora. What was she doing? She was definitely in shock. Because as she reached out to hug Nora she could feel herself boiling over inside. She wanted to go home, she needed to be alone, but she never could be, because Ted would want to talk about it. Ted would make her cocoa and sit her down and analyse every little thought. God, no, she wasn't going home. She'd pretend she had a date, or something, god, no-one would buy that. She just had to get out of here,

'Well, I'm off- but congratulations you two. Move over Lil, I am indeed the match maker supreme,' She followed it up with the least convincing laugh she had ever heard, God she was playing this badly. But it didn't matter as she could feel her feet moving her away from the thing that was pushing her more than a hundred times closer to breaking point than she was when she first came into the bar. She finally made it outside, she couldn't breathe. God, why was she being so dramatic? This was not her, and she didn't know how to deal with it. So she deals with it the only way she knows how- by going to shoot stuff.

What has he done? He watches her leave the bar and through the stained glass he sees her figure pause momentarily. Her shoulders look like they're shaking, no; it's probably just the effect of the glass- it's got to be. She obviously just had somewhere to go, on a Wednesday night, at 9.30. But why would she have been upset? Sure him and Robin were closer than ever right now, but she'd been the one to set him up with Nora. She'd been the one to turn him down and practically force her number on him. For suit's sake! She had no right to react like this, none whatsoever! If she was even reacting like this... but let's say hypothetically that she was- then she didn't have a leg to stand on, because he'd come up to her appartment, offered himself on a plate, and then used some lame excuse. The handwriting thing, come on! He'd read her handwriting thousands of times before, and what other digit was a 5 supposed to be anyway? It was the like the least confusable digit, cause 8 could be 0 or maybe even a particularly curly 3? Maybe or 1 could be 7, and 2 and 4- don't even go there! What ab- no Stinson focus, your best friend is upset. Woah, hold up, she's your best friend now? Ted will be heartbroken, don't tell him. Because well- what if Marshal and Lily run away- and then Ted's like, hey bro, you're my only best friend right bro? Oh no, he'd have to lie- or run away, OR dress up as a ladybird like his first grade teacher did once because it had got out the tooth fairy wasn't real, god knows why, but who needs a reason? Let's be honest, a lie is a lot less hurtful in a ladybird costume. Then, because she'll be cynical about it, pick up a chick, still dressed a ladybird, just to prove to Robin how awesome he is. He is smiling now.

But then he remembers. He can't pick up chicks anymore, because he's engaged. And now he's stopped to think about it, he doesn't have a clue why. It's not like he even planned the proposal. It was all Marshal's stupid fault, he'd practically challenged him to do it- and you can't just be like 'challenge not accepted'? Pfft. But then this wasn't a normal challenge, this wasn't a gimmick or a bit- this was potentially the rest of his life. He suddenly felt his heart beating faster- and not in the good way.

But then he looked over at her. He could do a lot worse. She had a nice smile, and she liked girly things, which would mean his house will always smell nice. That will be nice. And it's not like he's the same man he was eight months ago, he's grown... (Mental high five!) And he loves Nora. He does and his mum and now, hey, even his dad will be proud. They've both met her and they both think she's cool. Everyone who meets her thinks she's cool, and yeah, she is cool- she's from England! Like Mary Poppins!

But then, he remembered why he'd entered this serious conversation with himself. Robin I'm-a-walking-conundrum-with-good-boobs-who-likes-to-shoot- stuff- and-smoke-cigars Scherbatsky. Her favourite childhood film was Mary Poppins- they'd watched it together about a month ago when she'd been sick. No-one else had been around, so they'd curled up on the couch and watched it together. He'd never seen it before; which was apparently 'completely outrageous' -he smiled as he remembered Scherbatsky's terrible British accent. Her nose had gone all crinkly and she'd had massive lines up her forehead as she strained to try and make the different vowels, but no English person EVER looked or sounded as in pain as she had! But she had still looked cute. And no, cute didn't mean ugly anymore, well it did in universal terms, but not when describing her. Wait, could a bro be cute? Too big a question, concentrate Stinson! But she'd fallen asleep half way through, and as she slept she repositioned herself so that her head rested on his shoulder. When he'd told Lily about it later, she'd gone crazy. Asking him all these questions about Nora and stuff. He didn't understand why, as far as he was concerned his favourite bro (sorry Ted) had needed him, so he'd pyjama suited up! It's not like he was still in love with her or anything.

He loved Nora. End of discussion. Stinson, over and out- joining the real word again, in five, four, three, two, one- now laugh damn it, laugh, everyone else is laughing.

**Please press that lovely button- part 2 will follow soon hopefully :) **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here's part 2- dedicated to Spanish Sahara- thank you so much for the review :-) Anyways here's part two I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are always appreciated as I'm still very rusty! Thanks for reading Gx**_

_**Part 2**_

It's the fifth time she's been to the range this week. She's starting to get that dreaded nod that signifies a sense of familiarity from the acne drenched teen that works at the kiosk. He'd tried to make conversation with her on the third day- but she'd just smiled. It wasn't that she disliked 'Keith' or his 'here to help' attitude it was just she wasn't here to talk- she was here to shoot.

So she did, again, again and again. For those seconds nothing else mattered- there was no room in her mind for anything except the target and her reflex prepare, shoot, reload mechanism. She needed the pseudo clarity that those seconds brought her as with each shot her other pointless emotions got progressively disjointed until she was so tired and her thoughts so muddled that she could just go home and sleep. But tonight it wasn't working, her thoughts weren't shattering. She tried reloading faster and faster but it was no use and she knew why-because today had been tough; he'd come to the office.

He'd come to see Nora; apparently she'd forgotten her lunch so he'd brought it over to her. If it had been Ted who'd done that she wouldn't have given it even a glimmer of a second thought- but Barney, her Barney- no, no, not her Barney- her FRIEND Barney had just run an unnecessary errand for a girl he was seeing.

He'd never come to visit her at work, never bought her lunch to her and just to make matters worse she couldn't even leave desk because Nora's cubicle was right by the door so she was forced to sit and watch as he presented Nora with the brown paper bag. It was sickeningly perfect; just the way she smiled at him so innocently- she made feeling look so effortless. And he laughed at something she said before she playfully punched him on the arm before they both starting laughing again. But it was different to the way he used to laugh with her and it frustrated it her that she couldn't work out why. As she was trying to work it out he'd looked over to her desk. At first she'd been confused as to why he was grinning quite so much- then she realised- she was wearing her glasses. He came skipping over to her desk, with dozens of four eyes and geek taunts escaping his lips as quickly as they possibly could. She didn't have any comebacks so just sat there like a lemon looking slightly flushed. God she must have looked like such an idiot.

With this she picks up the gun again, god why did she let herself pause and think stuff? So she shoots. Her emotions deafened, her adrenaline pumping, but it's not enough. The thought might have been temporarily shut down but she can still feel him in her head. His jubilant face as he skipped over to her desk, the smell of his aftershave, his eyes locking with hers. So she tries to shoot to silence it once, and again and again, desperately trying to disjoint this perfect image. She reloads and tries once more-but it's no use- he's there. God why can't she just move on? This isn't her. She isn't this emotional wreck. She's the cool chick who likes guns and drinks scotch, she isn't the woman who analyses smiles or throwaway comments. But with him it's different. It's like she can't help herself trying to work out a way that this is all one big gimmick he's doing because the truth is she always thought in the end he'd be there for her- that somehow they'd always come back together and actually give it a fair go- because it hadn't been real.

And that's when it hit her; right there in the shooting range with an empty gun in her hand- she'd treated it as a test run. Frantically picking up the gun again she goes to reload-but she's out of ammo. She looks round desperately for Keith – she can't stop now. She can't deal with the possibility that she'd treated the only relationship in her life that could have meant something real -maybe not in a way that Ted or Lily or Marshal understood but in the way she did-like a disposable camera. And now she'd just finally got round to looking at the pictures and- god they were perfect. So she needed more ammo, she needed to shoot them down- put bullet holes in their perfect smiles and through their hands that fitted so perfectly together.

But Keith was gone, his kiosk locked down, dark and vacant. She felt her breathing quicken- she had nothing left. She couldn't shoot it down anymore. And with the silence she couldn't stop herself and so she let herself sink to the floor- pulling her shaking legs close to her body as for the first time in a long time she allowed herself to cry. She dropped her empty weapon and tucked her head into her knees and for the first time since Nora's bombshell allowed herself to try and come to terms with the fact that a her 'test run' hadn't been good enough. Because now someone else-someone she had introduced him to- had offered him more and had even reciprocated those feelings he had once shown her. She had always felt those feelings- but didn't want to show her cards at once. But obviously she would have done the next time round.

But then would she? She never had before. Emotion=weakness. Her father's mantra was engrained in her DNA, but only now was she realising that it might not always be the best option. But then how the hell did you go about showing someone how you felt? Did you write them a letter? Did you pull them into a warm embrace and mutter it tenderly into their ear (even the thought made her cringe). People just seemed to do it- just effortlessly- and she couldn't.

And then she realised it didn't matter anyway- even if she did (heaven forbid) throw herself at his feet and admit between sobs that she loved him (God, even the thought made her feel nauseous) it wouldn't matter now- he was engaged to a woman he must love. Who didn't tell him she loved him by calling him and idiot or tell him she felt insecure by throwing plates at his fridge. And with that it all came back- all of it in its stilted perfection. And she sat, back pressed hard against the shooting range wall for what felt like hours letting her mind dwell over the millions of mistakes she was only now realising she'd made.

By the time she got home she'd dried her eyes and applied a fresh layer of makeup. She wasn't really OK but she didn't want to Ted to look at her and want to talk about it. There was nothing to say, or at least nothing he could help her with-she'd already established on her own that she was (probably) in a love with a guy she could never have. What would Ted making her analyse her feelings and talk about it do to the help the situation? But as she walked into her apartment she froze- the four of them were sat around the coffee table. It looked like something out of a 70's family sitcom, with her being the goofy lonely viewer.

They were all laughing, Ted's fingers intertwined in Zoey's hair and Nora sat perched on the arm of her favourite chair- but that wasn't the reason her stomach was doing somersaults- because in her favourite chair was her favourite man. He looked different somehow and unbelievably it took her a few moments to realise why- where was his suit? Barney was sat there laughing but he was wearing chinos and baby blue shirt- no tie- the epitome of a white picket fence owner and it unsettled her. But his smile- it wasn't the same either. He might be convincing the rest of the room that he was happy but not her, it looked too contrived, too square.

But then maybe it was just her wanting to see a cover up; wanting to see him unhappy because it allowed hope that he'd come to his senses. But then she saw the ruby glistening on Nora's left hand, it hadn't been there today earlier at work. And with that any thought of any get out clause was shut down- she needed the gun again.

She'd obviously been stood in silence staring at them for too long because they had all turned to look at her. She smiled, greeted them all before going into the kitchen and reaching for the scotch bottle on the top of the fridge. She didn't have time for a glass so just grabbed the bottle and swigged, and again, oh and one more for luck- and as she turned- great. The ruby and its new owner were stood in the kitchen doorway just staring at her. Great, so now, not only would Nora go home with Barney but her and her annoyingly long British vowels would tell him how 'Robin's been drinking, and she's been doing badly at work and oh darling I'm so worried' . Eurgh. God she was annoying. But she put the scotch bottle down, screwed the cap back on and made some witty remark about her long day. Nora seemed to accept it and smiled sweetly back. Bitch.

They both walked back into the room together. His eyes first fell on his fiancé, it still seemed weird- Barney Stinson, bro supreme (self titling is cool), has a fiancé. He'd bought a ring today- or at least Ted had chosen it- but he'd paid for it so it was fine. He didn't have time to go to a ring shop! He was too busy- besides he had a tailor's appointment to keep to. Tailor, he felt his mood drop about 10 rungs on his happiness ladder as he looked down at the monstrosity he was dressed in. Chinos? And blazer? Well in fairness the blazer wasn't in awesomeness effecting range at the moment but when then left for Lily and Marshal's it would have to be...on him. Gross.

He'd seen the shock in her eyes as she walked through the door and who wouldn't be shocked at viewing the Barnacle looking so hideous? He'd only done it for Nora- she'd bought him the outfit and told him looked 'dashing'. Did dashing mean awesome in British? God knows, but he was regretting it now. Just look at Scherbatsky's face! She looks almost disgusted- no, not disgusted. Unsettled. And the fact that she was unsettled made him uneasy, especially as he was the cause of it. Stupid Nora, did she not get that his wardrobe malfunction was borderline upsetting to the people he cared most about?

His gaze flicked back to Robin. Despite being visibly alarmed (ok, maybe a bit exaggerated, but desperate times call for desperate hyperbole!) she was still beautiful-that was a given and would always be a given. But she looked different too. She wasn't smiling as much as she used to and it upset him. He loved to see her happy- not in a gooey romantic way- it's not like he loved her or anything. No he didn't love her, no, no, no. He'd been there, done that (whaddup, high five- bank it for later Stinson) and got the t-shirt. But then how come when she was sad, he was sad? And how come he felt that there was nothing more important that to do something about it?

He had barely seen Scherbatsky all week- she said she'd been working late but Nora said she hadn't seen her stay past six- it was nice having a spy! She must have a new boyfriend...great, probably yet another unsuitable tool that would either break her heart or make her feel cheap and she was too good for that- she deserved perfection. Yeah, this new tool must be making her feel cheap- that's why she looks upset. So, if she gets to feel like a million dollars again then she'll be happy. Stinson you're a genius. But hang on, how do you go about making her feel a million dollars?

But as he thinks he finds himself just looking at her. She's laughing at one of Zoey's stories and he can't get over, even if her eyes looks sad, how beautiful she is. Even now, she's in an old sweat shirt and jeans, but she's still, just, well yeah everything you could ever want and as much as he won't let his mind dwell on it, wipes the floor with his fiancé every time. It's just the way her hair falls ac- but no Stinson! For God's sake don't open that can of worms again she's made it clear she's not interested- option closed. But oh look how she smiles, even if it broken. He wants to tell her all about his day again. And he wants to tell her how seeing her at lunch looking as sexy as hell in her new glasses was the best part of it. And the worst thing of all that he wants to tell her is that as he walked into the office clutching his pathetic brown paper bag his eyes fell on her desk before he even registered Nora's presence in the room.

But this thing with Nora had to work, Robin had told him he could do it- he had to prove to her he was up to her challenge. But that was the thing, as if he stopped his stupid jumpy mind for two seconds, he knew that this wasn't just something he could' challenge unaccepted' in a couple of years time and walk away with everything just being fine. But he didn't know how to get out of it- it would mean conflict which would hurt someone.

That's where everyone was wrong about him, no-one got it. He hated nothing more that hurting people. Why did he sleep with girls and never call them back? Because in the end he'd just end up hurting them, so better never to call them back after one night and deal with the bitterness rather than breaking their heart after an emotional connection a few months down the line. And the one person he'd broken his rules for, the one person he had selfishly risked hurting because after a year of considerable thought, he knew how awesome they could have been for each other, was the one person he'd hurt the most. She was the only girl who'd ever cried truly pain-filled tears for him and memories of that day at the shooting range when he'd seen her crumble still made him hate himself more than all the one night stands he'd ever had. But Barney Stinson didn't think like this- he didn't let himself dwell on the depressing truth that he'd hurt the only girl he'd ever loved. So he let everyone think he had no heart- it was easier that way. He let his mind spring back, ignoring the lump in his throat, onto the next subject- Ted's hair- what the hell was up with it tonight?

It was time to go. He watched her go into her room as she said goodnight to the four of them. He would speak to her later. No, he should speak to her now. Check she's Ok.

'You guys go, I just wanna ask Scherbatsky to clarify a quick laser tag rule, some twelve year old today cha-'

'Yeah- no problem Barney, we'll see you there' Bloody Ted. He just didn't understand the awesomeness of laser tag! Nice cover too Stinson- you are truly the master of the bro's... no bro supreme was cooler. Nora lingers in the doorway smiling.

'Do you want me to wait? I know baby doesn't like to be lonely' Baby? Ok that's new- not awesome either. Mental note to discuss later.

'No you go, I'll catch up,'

'Ok, see you later babe,' Yeah that wasn't any better...

So as Barney stepped up to Robin's bedroom door Nora caught up with Ted and Zoey. She couldn't put her finger on why but Barney had been quiet over the last few days and it worried her. She was committing to becoming a full time New Yorker by marrying him and it wasn't that she didn't love him- she did- who wouldn't? He was the perfect committed boyfriend. She found it funny when she heard his 'stories' – he was a terrible liar. As if he had written that 'playbook' thing! She knew her Barney and he would never write anything so crude or demeaning to women. He respected her, and all her friends. He really was perfect, and although she hadn't met them yet- she was so excited to meet his parents next week- she wondered where they lived? She bet it was a big house in the suburbs. She made a mental note to ask him about it later. But bloody hell she was nervous- these were the grandparents her children would be spending all their Christmases with.

She must have looked nervous as she got into the taxi because Ted looked down at her beaming and said 'It'll be OK you know?'

'You really think so?'

'Yeah- you got nothing to worry about,'

'Good- I didn't think so but you know it's a big deal!'

'Well yeah, it would be. But I mean they've not gone out almost two years now and he clearly loves you and'

'Ted, what are you talking about?'

'Barney and Robin,' he paused and looked awkwardly at Zoey who now all of sudden seemed fascinated by something on the street outside. As she wasn't helping him he looked back over to Nora who was still staring at him incredulously. 'Why, wasn't that what you were talking about?'

'No!'

'Oh- '

'Barney and Robin used to date?' Ted just looked at her like a guilty child who had just told the teacher on the school bully in the playground. Barney had dated Robin? How had he not told her this? It seemed so unfathomable that her Barney, her sweet and open Barney, could ever be in a relationship with such a cold woman. It just doesn't seem right-which is probably why it ended. It's not like its anything to be jealous over- the idea of them is actually almost funny! But why wouldn't he tell her? Embarrassment? He probably just wanted to save her the awkwardness- he was so sweet like that. She stared down once again at her engagement ring. He really did know her so well- his choice had been perfect.

And so she let herself dream once more of their big day, five children and the white picket fences because she knew that was their dream, their fantasy and nothing on this planet could make them happier; just her and her baby together in wedded bliss.

_**Ok so this was kinda more of a connecting chapter the next part with be more action filled- hope you enjoyed it- please review either way Gx**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Quite a quick update as Im avoiding coursework but hope you enjoy it. Dedicated to srcrib :) Please review :) **

Part 3

What in God's name was she wearing? Had he fallen into a black hole and woken up in the future? She looked at least seventy and that was being generous. She's got to be joking- there is literately not one inch of skin on show- oh no hang on, tell a lie. Her hands are bare- hands could be sexy. Think of all the dirt- oh no wait that's clearly even too risqué she's getting her gloves. It's September for suits sake, still borderline sundress season and she's wearing gloves? Heaven forbid someone think her a hand whore! God, as if today wasn't going to be stressful enough as it is and his fiancé who is usually someone he's proud to have on his arm has stepped out looking like Mrs Doubtfire. Fantastic. And no, there is no conceivable fantasy in which that's in any way sexy.

As she puts on the final layer- a coat that he's never seen before and hopes with all his heart he'll never see again- she looks up and him and smiles. Great, now he feels bad for the old bat. He begs her silently not ask how she looks. She's going to speak, this is going to be awkward. 'You look gorgeous, baby,' Well of course he looks good, its Armani! But eurgh not the baby thing again, and now it's clearly being emphasised? Because yes grandma when he says he hates something its obviously best to emphasise it? Stupid British sarcasm- it wasn't so cute anymore.

She's looking at him again, oh god the previous comment was clearly supposed to be a lead for him to tell her how lovely she looked. Well, if she was going to call him baby he wasn't complimenting her frump outfit . Deal. So instead he smiles back 'ready to go?' He sees a flicker of disappointment across her gaze but he doesn't have the energy to massage her ego back up again. God, when did she get so needy?

While they're in the cab he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. It's from her, and annoyingly before he's even opened it he feels his mouth curl up into a smile. He doesn't notice as Nora starts talking about how 'autumn' (what the hell is 'orrtum' anyway? It sounds like awesome but wrong- bit like her today then! God he was in bad mood- chillax Stinson!) is beautiful or whatever. He looks down at his phone. She just wants to wish him luck today, one kiss. Its short and to the point but it's what he needs. Nora doesn't get it, she's all caught up in how big a deal it is for her. But what about him- he's not had his parents in the same room since he was seven years old, let alone introduced some girl to them. He suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that he needed her there with him. But how? He could hardly be like 'Hey Nora, BABY (shudder, curse, unawesome, eurgh) Robin's coming to lunch now too, hope it's ok'. Robin wouldn't look like some sort of care-home inmate- she'd look cool, she always looked cool. And besides she'd already met his mum so it wouldn't be half as big a deal. Just the idea of having her there was calming him down- it sort of made this whole hoop jumping debacle do-able.

And then he had a brainwave. Maybe he couldn't invite just Robin, Doubtfire II would be suspicious- but what if he invited everybody? Then the frumpster couldn't get all uptight and pissy with him and it made sense because none of them had met his dad yet. And let's be honest it was far more important for them to meet him than Nora. Sure she was important- but his friends were- well. Right, decision made, present plan ABORTED, new plan live! Launching phase one. Tell Doubtfire. Make it subtle and make it quick. Don't ask- just do. GO!

He flips open his phone again and quickly finds the number for the restaurant and before Nora can even stop talking about the way the orrtum leaves look on the ground he's dialling.

'Hello. Yes, I have reservation under the name Stinson for 8 o'clock, yep, today. That's the one. I was just calling to see if I could add another four people to that party? Yes, I'll hold,' Damn, no not on hold. It gives her a chance to chat- to argue. And yep she's looking all incredulous and confused. Come on waiter!

'Barney wh-'

'Baby, two seconds, I'm on call,' 'Baby' saved it. Thank you Justin Beiber. God, note to self never ever be in a situation again where Justin Beiber needs thanking. Oh thank god the waiter's talking again 'Great, we'll see you shortly. Thanks'

He flips the phone shut and yep she's still staring at him. Think Stinson, you are the master of the get out clause. Come on...think...

'Who else is coming to dinner,' She asks the question quite innocently, maybe she's not onto him. Maybe he should pretend that they're four long lost family members... no that wouldn't work. Truth time, well, let's not go too mental, truth-ish time.

'Oh did I not tell you, Ted and Marshal were really disappointed they hadn't met my dad yet and Ted got all jealous that you were meeting him before he did. Blah, blah, blah. You know what Ted's like, such a green eyed monster!'

'Right, well that's two, who are the other two seats for?' Her tone was still relaxed but in a weirdly edgy way. He didn't like it.

'Well you can't invite Marshal without Lily. I mean just imagine it- the fall out would be- well, you know, just so...unawesome' God hold it together. Oh and well done, you left her to last; now it's going to be totally obvious.

'And so going on that logic I'm guessing the last seat is for Robin?' Yep, well done Stinson. Should have put bloody Scherbatsky in with Ted. Rookie error. But no option, just go with it. She needs to be here. A simple yes will do.

'Well yeah,' Good enough.

'So are they meeting us there?'

'No, we're picking them up,'

'But you just told the taxi driver the address of the restaurant?'

'Did I?' Feigning ignorance, plan win!

'Yes you did. And now we're going to be late. Barney- its really important I make a good impression on your parents and...' God, just leave her waffling, sounds like it could be awhile. Right Ok, phase 2- getting Robin etc. to be dressed and into the cab. He knew that they would probably all be in the bar, God he hoped they would all be in the bar. For once he wished nothing more than for his friends to be predictable and boring. Ok, so, right first tell the cab driver to go to McLarens.

Done. Now, they're going to have to be dressed for dinner. He needed to call at least one of them to explain that they were now coming to dinner. But how? And which one? A ha- hello ringtone selector app. Three, two, one, trial ringtone. Then speed dial. You are a genius Stinson! Oh god, come on Ted pick up. He can feel Nora's eyes on him again. She's annoyed he didn't respond to her rant with anything other than hand gestures. Doesn't she understand the planning that goes into something like this- amateur! Oh thank god, Ted.

'Go for Barney,'

'Barney- you called me,' Right now remember Stinson, Nora only hears your side of the conversation. Spy training is about to come in handy, Marshal owed him five dollars

'Yes, yes I did. What did you want?'

'What? Barney, you're making no sense,'

'Well yes of course; suits are obligatory. Meet us down outside McLaren's, 15 minutes. See you bro,'

Nora was just staring at him now. Baby wasn't really going to be enough this time. 'So that was Ted...'

'I just got the weirdest call from Barney,' Ted said as slid back into the booth. 'He said something about suiting up and then meeting outside in fifteen minutes'

'Isn't he introducing Nora to his parents this evening? Why would he want us to suit up?' Lily started the discussion. And that's when it clicked. He needed them because he was terrified. He'd made a comment the other day about how he was 'jumping through the 'meet the parents' hoop' but she remembered how pale his face had been at the time. And the way in which he had looked down into his scotch as he'd said it. He needed them. And in them was her, and if he needed her then it was a reflex that came with feeling the way she felt- she'd be there. They all would.

'He needs us,' Ok play it a bit cooler. Lily will only start digging for poop again.

'What?'

'He told me the other day how nervous he was about having his parents in the same room,' They're all looking at her, hanging on every word- say something else 'and how nervous he was about Nora meeting them,' Ok not entirely true but there was no time for half way house persuasion methods.

'Yeah, actually now you mention it,' Marshal piped up 'He came over really stressed about his restaurant choice the other day. I had to help him chose. As if it's much of a choice- it's got to be Pierre's! I mean where else would you ever-'

'Baby, that's great but we kinda need to focus. Do we go?'

'What do you mean do we go?' She replied a bit too quickly and Lily looked at her suspiciously again. 'What I mean is, what harm can us being there really do? Nora gets to meet the parents and Barney is happier. He's doing this big thing, I just think we should support him,' Come on guys- take the bait. Just do it.

'Well I'm not going to Pierre's looking like this- if we're doing this then we're meeting him there,' Marshal nodded along with Lily's statement. He was grinning ear to ear and as she saw them both hurry out the door she heard him squeak 'we're going to Pierre's!' She couldn't help but smile- she had never met anyone quite so driven by food in her whole life. She turned to Ted

I'll ring him to tell him we'll meet him there?' He just nodded before they both got up to leave. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach, god she was about to meet his dad, what the hell did she wear. Ok, first, call him.

Almost immediately he picked up. He was panicking.

'Go for Barney,'

'Breaking your three ring rule I see,' He didn't say anything, but she could hear his breathing it was fast and it unsettled so she continued, 'Just to let you know we think we understood your phone call and we'll meet you there. Say yes if we've understood you correctly,'

'Yes,' he said it so quickly that she had to laugh. She heard his breathing relax.

'OK, well we'll see you in a bit. Stay classy San Diego.' Ok that was new. God she had been doing so well at playing it cool. But no time for stupid pointless analysis .Right Ok, now go and find something to wear.

He hung up the phone and felt his breathing begin to return to normal. He had done it, she was, no, they were coming. And 'stay classy San Diego?' Mental mockery note saved for later! She was such a dork sometimes. Ok, shit, redirect the cab. Done.

'Are you going to tell me what's going on?' Doubtfire II looked really angry now and now he was calm he felt awful. She had put a lot of effort into this meeting, and even if she did look, well, let's be nice and just say 'older' she did deserve an explanation.

'Oh that was Ted; he just wanted to let us know they've decided to meet us there. He can't find his tie or something,' she seemed to buy it. Still got it Stinson- master of the get out clause. Yep she was smiling now. Ok, right phase 3- actually getting through this. Ok. Right. How?

They arrived at the restaurant only five minutes late but Nora was still flapping. She practically pushed him out the cab before he had a chance to pay and then he watched her practically run through the restaurant door. He'd catch her up, there was no hurry. He thanked the cab driver with a generous tip- God he'd earned in the poor bro had changed directions more than Ted's love life. That's it. Keep laughing. Jokes are good. At least until she, god! THEY get here. It'll all be ok then.

Nora's already - but as he stares at the front of the restaurant he feels his breathing increase again. He tries to move, he needs to catch her up but his feet are frozen to the spot.

Come on Stinson! It's just your DNA in one room- you're always in the room with your DNA. It's no big deal. No come on, don't walk the other way. No, don't do this. This is the time where you are normal- come on. Oh who are you kidding, you can't do this. You're, No. Come on!

As her cab pulls up she sees him just stood outside just staring at the restaurant door. She's glad Ted's not here now. He had something with Zoey (she had been half way out the door as he was explaining) she didn't really care. Barney needed her, Ted's longwinded relationship spiel could wait. So she jumped in a cab and here she was throwing money at the driver and slamming the door. But as the door slams she is unsure of what to do. He looks so helpless, so small. She doesn't think she's ever seen him so still- even when slept he always used to shuffle. But here he is just staring at the door. Oh shit, now he's staring at her. Say something. But no words come out. Ok, just walking towards him is a start.

God she looks amazing. See that's what his someone's supposed to look like. He feels the circuit of self doubt in his head slow down as she steps closer to him. He feels the banter start to return. Ron Burgundy. Go.

'Alright, Ron?'

'I watched it last night OK?' It was cool she liked anchorman

She was smiling and stood right beside him now; wrapping him in the gentle embrace of her perfume. She put on perfume? She hadn't worn perfume in like forever. But the smell comforts him, and for just a second he forgets he's about to face the thing he's most scared of it the whole world, for a second he's back in her old flat intertwined with her and her scent. Everything was so easy then and for a second he forgets about Nora and just inhales. And its like he can breathe again.

But then his gaze focuses back on the restaurant door and even though she's next to him he feels the self doubt returning. But her hand reaches over to his shoulder as she gently presses her body into his back. She's talking about anchorman again but the words don't matter. He can do this. And so he takes the step and she steps with him, her hand still stays the same place resting gently on his shoulder. They move together towards the door. She's still talking. He still has no idea what about- but she's not staring at him incredulously for not answering she not even using a stupid relaxed tone. She's just talking- but its working. He can do this.

**Ok so next chapter we go into the restaurant and the pace should hopefully pick up a bit... now go on...press the button **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- So I kinda struggled with this chapter (hence the longer upload time) and I'd really love to hear your thoughts on it either way. Its dedicated to my lovely reviewers Bonobo, Scissorhands 101, The PinK BandiT, Never Magpie & Western Wicked Witch- you guys made my day! Hope you all enjoy it Gx**

**Part 4**

He reached out for the door handle- he could do this. He was going to do this. He could be this normal person who walked into this restaurant and introduced his fiancé to his parents. Heck he could be so much more than just a normal person- he was Barney Stinson, he was like number one in the awesome league... But that was the problem wasn't it? Because today he wasn't playing the awesome game .Today he was playing level 1 of normality - and he had absolutely no idea which buttons to press.

But now here he was being thrown into the ring. It was literately all in front of him- his parents, his stepbrother, his fiancé- but he had no idea how to do this. All these people actually knew him- he couldn't be a surgeon or a lawyer tonight- tonight all he has was Barney Stinson. And when had that ever been enough before? His dad had walked out and his mum had had to make up elaborate lies just to justify his childhood. And then Nora, all she wanted was this elaborate prince that he had tried so hard to be- but it just wasn't him because at the end of the day all he had to offer was this cad in a suit. And it was never enough. It had never been enough.

Well, once it had been- well almost anyway. She hadn't lied to him, even after they broke up she hadn't left him and she didn't need prince charming to sweep in and save her. She saw him, the real him; the suit wearing, cigar smoking screw up. And despite seeing him at his worst (so many times) she was still here, her hand still gently resting on his shoulder. Telling him it was all going to be OK.

But then she understood what it felt like to feel broken. No-one had ever showed her how to play the 'picket fence' game either. But if anything it had been worse for her; she'd seen what happened when the fence got burnt down. At least his mother had enveloped him in lies; she'd had to cope with the bitter reality of screaming match after screaming match with no-one ever telling her it wasn't her fault.

Yet here she was, this beautiful enigma, just standing next to this cad in a suit- telling him it was all going to be OK. And in that second he realised- it didn't have to, and shouldn't, be this hard.

But it was too late- because people were talking to him now. They were all smiling- it looked like some sort of window display. All the mannequins were here just looking perfectly at him, or rather looking perfectly at them. But that's all it was- a window display and he wanted nothing more than to take her hand and move onto the next shop. But he knew he had no choice, he had to go in; at least for now it was time to buy into this fantasy called 'real life'. Normal people enjoyed it- how hard could it be. Breathe. Three, two, one- go.

She watched as he stepped away from her (leaving her hand momentarily lingering in mid air) and into his mother's arms, swiftly moving into his father's handshake and finally stepping into the empty space next to Nora, wrapping his arm round her waist. Now the picture was complete. Yet she wasn't in it- she was here just stood gawping like some outsider.

Where the hell were Lily and Marshal? She needed her family. She was happy for him, she was. Proud that he had done this. But this little niggling voice just wouldn't shut up- it just kept telling her over and over again that the point of Nora was to catch him up, make him realise he could want more- she wasn't supposed to be the more he could want.

And now here she was just watching as the person who she'd always been one step ahead of, that safety blanket that she'd always thought would be there- making what looked like pleasant conversation with his family and fiancé. And here she was, just an outsider looking in- watching her security blanket wrap so effortlessly round this other girl. This girl she had introduced him too... Oh for God's sake Lily where the hell were you?

She picked up her menu and began flicking through the choices before realising she was being watched. He had familiar blue eyes, Oh God had they had a kid already? No, come on Scherbatsky- this was at least an eleven year old- he had only known Nora 10 minutes...

And then she remembered, Barney had a step brother.

'Hi,' ...who was apparently now trying to start a conversation with her...

'Hi,'

'I'm JJ,' he extended his arm across the table to her, 'Barney's little brother' She couldn't help but smile at how proudly he said it. He would be a great big brother.

'Robin,'

'Oh you're Barney's friend!' Barney had told his brother about her? She was smiling again

'And how'd you know that?' Ok she was officially interrogating an elevenish year old boy...

'He talks about you like all the time,' she could feel herself smiling again. God, Ok Scherbatsky cut the Cheshire cat act 'he told us the horse poop story the other day. My dad found it so funny he choked on his spaghetti' she could feel herself going red. She would be having words with Barnman later... at least he hadn't told the Robin Sparkles story- oh god, what if he had? Just play it cool. You're the adult here Scherbatsky, the journalist in fact. Steer the conversation.

'Well I'm sorry I almost killed your dad,'

'Its OK, Barney didn't tell us about your singing until after dinner,' Stinson was dead.

'Oh he told you about that...great'

'Yeah- he even showed us the videos. You look different now though,' She smiled- thank god!

'Well it was a long time ago,'

'Oh no, not different in a bad way- you're prettier now,'

'I see you've been taking lessons from your big brother,'

'Yeah,' She couldn't help but notice how proud JJ was to have Barney as a brother. He was positively beaming 'he's awesome,' Ok it was time to bite the bullet. Just ask about her- he's eleven; he won't get the game.

'So have you met Nora before?'

'Nora?' Hide the smug smile better.

'Barney's fiancé?'

'Oh, yeah. I sorta met her once before'

'You did?'

'Yeah, Barney took me shopping,'

'Oh god, shopping with Barney? I bet he took you to his tailor didn't he? The one in the back of that pet store?'

'Yeah, it was a bit weird... but I got to play with the rabbits and I did look awesome in the suit. Barney said he might buy it for me for my birthday,'

'Did he now?' JJ smiled again and nodded proudly

'So then we went for lunch and she came with us - but she didn't really talk to me. She just talked to Barney about flowers and then about the baby an-'

And all of a sudden she wasn't smiling anymore...

'


	5. Chapter 5

_**Part 5**_

_**A/N- I'm so sorry for the delayed update. I've finally finished my exams and so can get back to writing again. This part is dedicated to all my lovely reviewers- you're all more than legen-wait for it-dary**_

_**Warning- contains themes of rape**_

_**Please review (oh and my name change is a long story but hopefully you still like me just the same!)**_

* * *

Emma Hodgeson was a waitress- a waitress at Pierre's who'd just pulled a triple shift. Unfortunately this evening Emma Hodgeson was also a sister- a sister to Amy who she'd promised to call when she got home because Amy's husband was out of town and she was going 'crazy by herself'.

So she picked up the phone and sleepily dialled Amy's number. Her sister answered after the first ring and after they had exchanged brief pleasantries Amy asked Emma how work was going and funnily enough, as tired as she was, this evening she actually had a story to tell...

'_Well I was just finishing off my shift and then this large party comes in and Matt begs me to stay and help and to be honest I need the money so I stay and help. Anyway so I'm waiting this table- I think it was like some sort of engagement party. But the guy was late, and then he walks in with this other woman who's got her hand on his back and they're stood really close- so I assume that's the fiancée- but no, the actual fiancée is stood at the table next to me- and you know when you can just tell that someone's mad? Well this woman was seething! Like literately she was shooting such daggers at the woman who had her hand on the blonde guy's back- I mean God, if looks could kill- I would definitely be being interviewed by the cops as a witness right now! So anyway, the other woman and the blonde guy finally get to the table and the fiancée she literately grabs the blonde haired guy off this other woman and forces his hand round her waist. The other woman (who the fiancée didn't even say hello to- seriously it was so awkward!) is then exiled to the other end of the table with some kid and they all sit down and start looking through the menus and stuff. Anyway while their looking through their menus I hover near the table and I hear this other woman and this kid talking. He's telling her about some trip he went on- I couldn't hear exactly cause it was noisy- but then he starts talking about the guy and his fiancé and then the next thing I hear is baby. Then this other woman, who looks like she's literately about to cry, just puts down her menu and says she thinks she has to be somewhere. I mean it was literately the worst excuse I've ever heard- so she gets up to leave, starts to walk away and the blonde guy leaps out his seat to try and stop her. Meanwhile his fiancée is clearly almost about to snap and just grabs his wrist and pulls him back down into his chair. But he clearly wants to go stop the other woman so he gives his fiancée most awful look, tells her to let go and gets up to follow this other woman, who has now left the restaurant. Then through the window I watch as this other woman gets into a cab really quickly and it drives off just as the blonde guy runs up to it. He then looks around for a second before flagging down another cab, jumping in and leaving. It was so awkward, especially as a few minutes later another couple show up, who are friends with the blonde haired guy, and obviously don't really know anyone else and join the table. I didn't know what to do- I mean can you imagine- your fiancée first comes in with another woman, then she leaves and he chases her. I mean I kinda feel sorry for the fiancée- but thank god they aren't already married, because let's be honest- it's not going to last is it? _

* * *

She didn't know where she was- well she knew it was a bar and she knew she was in New York City but she'd just got in a cab and told the driver to take her somewhere nice, but like every other man- he apparently had terrible taste.

She heard the bell for last orders and got up for one more scotch. She felt light headed and wobbled slightly as she walked towards the bar and upon arrival smiled at the now familiar face who handed yet another drink. She had seen the bottom of many glasses this evening yet she still held a hope, a hope that maybe at the bottom of the next one she'd find the answer.

She turned back to her previously empty table to see it was now occupied. She wanted to think he was vaguely familiar but her drunken kaleidoscope vision wouldn't quite let her focus long enough to work it out. He had brown hair and broad shoulders- but as she kept trying to place him she couldn't help but realise it didn't really matter- knowing him wasn't really a concern tonight.

Placing her scotch on the bar she pulled her dress down a touch bringing the curve of cleavage into view and with one swift (if slightly wobbly motion) ran her other hand through her hair. As she reached in her bag for her lipstick she felt a pang of a past promise she'd made to herself about picking up guys in bars- but that was irrelevant. She needed to feel wanted, and as she wasn't lucky enough to be wanted for a lifetime she would settle for an evening with this apparently broad shouldered, brown haired man.

She felt his eyes on her as she sidled into his view. Rustling the shreds of confidence she had left she asked him if the seat was taken. He just gestured and nodded. He definitely wasn't familiar- his eyes were cold- a mirror of her own, which she was praying weren't red or drenched in mascara, because she hadn't thought to check. And as she sat there she realised she hadn't really thought at all- because thinking hurt- it hurt a lot.

So she smiled as he started to tell awful jokes, she let him touch her thigh- allowing his fingers to inch further up that she should, and she didn't cover herself as his eyes blatantly wandered aimlessly up and down the v neck of her dress. She silenced the screaming sober voice in her head with one last sip of scotch and smiled as his hand really went too far. But she didn't care anymore- Barney was going to be a father to a child that wouldn't call her mother- it's not like you can just divorce a child- there is no get out of jail card. She could deal with marriage- but kids. Nora's kids, god they'd be dull- not even Barney's genes could save them- it just didn't seem right. But her kids, well- what would be their kids- they would be awesome through and through. She felt the niggling pain of reality because she had to drop this stupid fantasy. But maybe just for one more night- 'cold eyes' wouldn't know she wasn't thinking about him- even if he did he probably wouldn't care. So she smiled at him and nodded along but she let her mind wander where it wanted for one last time. Tomorrow she'd get over him, tonight was well- tonight.

Later she felt her hand being taken and lead out the door round into the alley way round the side of wherever they were. She felt him press her up against a wall. She heard herself murmur something but her mind wasn't in the alley way. Her mind was on a beach somewhere with Barney and their three imaginary kids, because that's what she'd always secretly imagined- three little blonde babies- splashing around in the spray. Barney would be laughing and splashing too and she could sit and look at the perfect image, basking in the eternal sunlight. Her family, her babies- with no failed expectations, no arguments because that's the childhood she'd give them. But as she felt the stranger's fingers hands on her thighs she was struggling to hold the image- and so she let it go, unwilling to taint it with the sordidness of this increasing uncomfortable fumble.

But that's when she noticed his hands really didn't feel right- they were rough, tugging at her skin and not in a good way. His fingers were course and his stale breath against her neck was cold. She felt nothing. She wanted him to stop, to leave her and let her to go back to the beach. But he pulled her hair sharply down before starting on her neck and it definitely wasn't sexy- it was painful and before she knew it his course fingers had found a way under her dress and were jabbing painfully at anything they could find. It was time to stop now, this wasn't fun.

She tried to push him away- but he didn't recoil he just held her against the wall. She pushed him again this time with more force but he just pushed back harder. She felt the brick wall scrape along her bare shoulders. This was not happening. She was drunk but she didn't want this anymore. But as she tried to side step whoever this creep was she felt him grab her wrist, twisting her so her face was now to the wall. She could feel her anger boiling, but he was strong and the more she fought the stronger his grip became. She tried to cross her legs but there his fingers were again, pawing her apart. She tried to call out but his hand moved quickly from her wrist to cover her mouth. She could feel the tears again boiling up in her eyes- but it was irrelevant because he was behind her now; forcing her weakened body up against the wall. She tried to side step again but he was there, his reactions quicker than hers- placing his big boots on her stilettoed toes and twisted. She cried out but he just pushed her further into the wall, pushing her hair away with her course fingers before whispering into her ear. She forced herself to block out the words but just the tone of his voice made her want to scream but as she tried his hand came across her mouth, muffling her cry and forcing her shoulders further into the wall making it completely impossible for her to do anything. He whispered again. His voice sent shivers down her spine and with all her might she tried to thrash away once more but it was no good. Her feet were pinned by his, his body impaling her on the wall. One hand over her mouth the other creeping up her thigh again. She tried to clench her thighs but he didn't care, he just forced them open again. She could feel her face boiling, soaking wet with tears- she tried desperately to scream but his dirty hand muffled it.

She felt his hands move momentarily from her to undo her dress. She tensed as she felt his hard fingers along the skin of her back. His lips biting the back of her neck- the tears were falling freely now as she tried again to escape his touch but she couldn't. Her mind was screaming at her, move, run, shoot- but she couldn't. For the first time in her life Robin Scherbatsky was helpless and she couldn't cope. She couldn't stop it, so she faced the wall, closed her eyes as she felt him lower the zip of her dress those last few inches, and gritted her teeth. She forced her mind to somewhere happy- just like she used to when she was kid when her dad was shouting at her or her mum. Her happy place used to be the tree house at the foot of her garden, but that wasn't good enough anymore- so she let herself back into Barney's arms, forcing herself to remember the perfection because that's the only thing that could save her from a breakdown. She wrapped herself in the image of his apartment and in his sheets around their naked bodies. She saw his suit jacket on the back of the door, she heard his voice...

But no, his voice wasn't in her head. She forced her head round to look at the top of the alley way- but he was next to her now. Dazed, she heard shouting. She felt herself pushed away- her dress falling round her ankles, but she spun round to see Barney. Her magnificent Barney, now holding her attacker against the wall- he was only half his size but had somehow impaled him on the wall. He was spitting at him, kicking him, pulling the hair he had back and smashing his face against the bricks.

Robin had never seen him like it before but she was too tired to analyse it, too broken this time to even consider that it was 'hot'. Her head was spinning in numb silence. She could feel her foot throbbing badly and as she hazily looked down at it she saw it was purple. She looked up again to see her attacker skilfully side step Barney before making a quick getaway away into the night. But she didn't care- he was gone.

That's when it all hit her. Everything that had happened tonight and she felt her whole body just give up. Her knees crumpled and she felt herself land on the cold tarmac beneath her. But this time she felt the right strong arms around her, the right cheek against hers with his soft fingers trying to wipe away her tears. So she let herself break down, she let herself need arms around her- because this wasn't some guy- she didn't need the barricades with him anymore because there was no denying he'd saved her. She didn't know how he'd found her- she didn't know how he did anything- but it didn't really matter- because he did and he always had done for her.

He cradled her gently shaking body so carefully, looking over it for cuts and bruises but soon as he saw the scrape marks and the bruises he felt his own eyes begin to well up. As his own body began to shake he pulled her tighter. He was never letting her go again- never. God knows, what if he hadn't, what if he'd not f- he couldn't even think it. So he pulled her body even closer into his own, her head nuzzling gently into his neck. He could feel her heartbeat slowing, her frame stop shaking, but her hands gripped round him. But she didn't need to worry, he wasn't letting her go. Not now. Not ever. He blinked back the tears- he had to be the strong one tonight. So he bit his lip and let his free hand gently stroke her hair. It seemed to help and as she relaxed he couldn't stop himself from resting his chin gently on her head- every now and again planting a reassuring kiss on her forehead.

* * *

Hours passed as the city slipped silently from night into early morning. But there they lay there together, two figures perfectly intertwined. Both beating themselves up for letting the other get hurt. Both terrified to move as they would have to talk- talk about why she'd stormed out, why she'd come here, what had almost happened and she would have to ask him about it all- about why he kept the news of his unborn child from her, about why he was out for six hours looking for her and about why he was still sat here cradling her broken body so patiently, so perfectly. Yet as any onlooker could have told them there was a one word answer to all their questions- the word they had been terrified to say to each other ever since their first kiss. So in the only way they knew how they lay protectively laced together in denial because for the moment it offered them a pseudo taste of the perfection they both craved.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey you lovely readers-**_

_**Thank you for being so patient with this update. I really hurt my hand this week (if you're ever leading horses anywhere with a rope for God's sake wear gloves!) so it's taken a bit longer than I anticipated to write this part. It's dedicated as ever to my gorgeous reviewers- ankita, ankita 101093 bonobo, SOSKate, hopeless romantic 90, chris, sree and anyone who's reviewed previous chapters- you guys rock my socks!**_

_Anyways here goes- enjoy _

**Part 6**

They had relocated to a diner on the other side of the road. They were sat at the booth in the far corner. He watched as she tentively began to sip at her coffee. She looked so tired. She was still wearing the dress that had convinced him into normality less than twenty four hours ago. But now it was slouched across one shoulder, which caused him to wince as he could see the scrape marks from the wall along her bare skin and her hair was dishevelled, in a massive knot on the left side of her head. She didn't look like Scherbatsky. He knew it was time sort this out because seeing her like this clearly wasn't good for her but it also made him feel uneasy. But how in hell did you go about sorting this out. It wasn't as simple as going and talking to Lily for Marshal or getting Ted that job. Yet here she was, the person he wanted to help the most out of all of them and he didn't have a clue how to. He hated this feeling, he did everything he could to avoid it but here he sat in some grubby old diner at 6 am in the morning feeling completely and utterly helpless.

But at least he was thankful for one thing- that he'd found her in time. What did she think she was doing at that bar? He'd been a couple of time with his GNB colleagues before he met Ted and it was rough. He'd been mugged outside before whilst waiting for a cab. It had only been a couple of weeks before he'd decided he needed a change of scene- because he was becoming someone he didn't want to be. Even though the thought of the past weepy, hippie Barney was hilarious now to everyone, himself included – deep down he was still in him and that part of him didn't want to be completely on this corporate escalator. And OK he still had this job at GNB but before he'd met Ted that had been his whole life. But now he had these people who he would protect to the very end and he liked that- his little urban family that at the least took the edge of being corporate. But recently he'd watched as Lily and Marshal started thinking about an actual family. His 'family' was growing up but he didn't want to lose the sense of security and let's face it happiness that being in a unit offered. So he had figured the best way to carry on with that sense of security was to find someone. Enter Nora. But now, here he was with a member of his original 'family' and he couldn't help but ask himself why he had to look further afield. Because here she was, yeah sure she wasn't ever going to fit perfectly waving behind a white picket fence- but if last night had taught him anything, nor was he.

They could stand behind their own jaunty blue or yellow, or hell a mixture of the two, fence. Laughing at the couples who felt compelled to stand and wave, whilst smoking Cubans and swilling scotch. Because to him that was normality and he knew she felt the same. And maybe one day they'd chose to paint their fence white and settle down- but it would be when they wanted to -not when Lily said so, or when her mother undoubtedly started talking about biological clocks. But whatever they decided at least they would be secured in by their fence together. And he knew now, that's what he needed to make him feel happy. So he took a deep breath and broke the silence.

'Do you want more coffee?'

She just shook her head. She wanted so badly to talk to him- but she didn't know how to tell him and keep herself protected all at the same time. Because even after he'd saved her last night he was still fathering someone else's child. So she couldn't throw herself in his lap and declare her undying love for him because he couldn't reciprocate, at least not whole heartedly, meaning she'd just end up hurting again. But she could hardly sit here in silence forever and she had so many questions. Maybe start with the safe one- how did he find her? After all she had to start somewhere. So she reached over to the sachet jar in the middle of the table and picked up a sugar. She began to smooth it out against the table. If she was going to do this she needed some sort of distraction- she'd done the same thing when her mum and dad used to take her for breakfast together just before he left. It would always end in an arguement and so she used to take all the sachets from the glass, tip the sugar to one end and then fold the empty part. She used to channel all her concentration into it, a child's feeble attempt to block out a failed marriage. Yet here she was again, smoothing the creases in the same way.

'So, how'd you find me?' He looked up at her shocked. She was trying. It was time for him to do the same. He could work the Nora stuff out later, for now it was just them in the diner. No acts or gimmicks. And an answer of 'Barney Stinson can find anyone,' just wasn't going to suffice here; he was going to have to be honest.

'I followed you for awhile. But then we lost you at a junction. So I went back to the apartment, to the bar and then to the Hoser Hut. We drove past the shooting range but it was all locked down. I'd noted down the registration of your cab when we left and my driver told me that the same group of guys usually work round Pierre's so I went and waited. About two hours later he showed up again. He told me that'd you been really upset and he'd taken you to his local. He took me and I found you.'

She hadn't expected that. She'd expected the magician's response like he always used to give. But now he was revealing all his tricks. She forced herself not to panic. He had been brave. It was her turn. She stopped folding the sugar sachet and looked him in the eye.

'Thank you.' Shit. He was looking at her like he needed more. And of course he needed more. He'd raced half way across the city to find her and all she could say was thanks. Come on, think. So many questions need answering. Say something. She was saved by the sound of his phone vibrating again on the table. She saw Nora's name flashing up on the screen as he pressed the reject button again. 'You should call her, she'll be worried'

'That's really all you've got to say?' His response shocked her, but she still had no idea what to say. For God's sake think! 'Fine, you know what I will call her,' He was shaking his head as he began to dial. She felt her barricades beginning to rise again- fine he wants to play it like this, then that's how it'll be. She took a breath,

'Because until now you've been so vocal'

'What?'

'Don't play stupid Barney you know exactly what I'm talking about,'

'I really don't- care to enlighten me,' His tone was sharp but she was in it now- so she continued.

'Where you ever going to tell us you were going to be a father?' Oh God, she'd said it. He was just looking at her in shock. It's not exactly an unexpected response though- she had just rumbled his biggest secret.

'What?' He spits it out at her. His eyes are still frozen though-but the more she looks the more the shock moulds into confusion 'Scherbatsky what in god's name are you talking about?' Oh don't play dumb Stinson! It's quite obviously hurting enough as it is. Fine. So she starts,

'Your spawn, your unborn child, your half British half American bun that's cooking away in her oven, games up Barney, JJ told me,' Woah, Ok, cool it a little bit.

'And what exactly did JJ say?'

'That you were having a baby!'

'What he actually said those exact words?'

'Well no,'

'Well what, exactly, did he say?'

'Its besides the point- you're side stepping the question just like you always do. You just didn't have the balls to admit that you're pregnant,'

'Robin,' he was trying so hard to remain calm 'what exactly did he say?'

'Oh you know what Barney, it doesn't matter. You know it doesn't matter. I've got some-'

'Somewhere to be again? Look how well that worked out for you last night?' The minute he said it he regretted it. So much for keeping calm, bravo moron. He could tell he'd gone too far. She was already on her feet, her old coffee still untouched.

But as she began to walk away she finally asked herself something, firstly what if there was some outside chance that he had a reason for these ridiculous questions and secondly what if this time she didn't walk away? What if this time, for the first time, she didn't leave a situation with a million questions still unanswered, what if just for once she laid all her cards on the table- just for once she wasn't the almost girl- just for once she'd actually sit with it and take a shot. So she turned round. He was already standing up- he looked as terrified as she felt but they both knew it was time.

'He said he went out to lunch with you both after you'd been to the tailor. And Nora couldn't stop talking about the flowers or the baby' He was smiling. Why was he smiling? God this whole opening up thing was so bloody full of uncertainty. He relaxed, he still looked completely confused but he was smiling. He'd better not be closing up again. He had such a nice smile- no, not now, focus. She had so many questions. God, come on Barney, say something.

'Oh the baby thing? Nora doesn't want babies at the wedding, I personally don't mind if people bring their brats. We've been debating it recently.' Before she's even got time to process what he's just said, he talking again- but it doesn't matter. She believes him. He was sincere- she knows it. They're not pregnant. 'Is that why you left? Because, because you th-'

'No'

'Well why then?'

'Yes'

'Ok, Scherbatsky- just saying opposites isn't going to get us anywhere. Did you leave Pierre's like that because JJ told you I was having a baby with Nora?' Silence 'Did you?'

Before she can decide how to react she feels her heard begin to nod anyway. Now it really was quiet.

The silence is painful. They both know exactly what the other is thinking. God they need Lily now, like primary school kids who are being forced to apologise- she would know what to make them say to make this OK. But it was just them alone in this diner at 6am- and they had both decided not to run- so this was their only option. Robin knew she had to explain and so because somehow it made things easier she picked up another sugar sachet from the jar and once again slowly started flattening the sugarless end against her finger tips. Whilst she smoothed and folded she tried to plan what to say but it wasn't working. She was just going to have to talk- improvisation had never been her strong point- but there was no other option.

'When I was a kid my dad was really hard on me.' She could feel his eyes on her now, but she just focused hard on the sachet in her shaking fingers 'He used to say quite openly that his life would have been much easier if I was a boy- I was an almost boy. Then he left, and mum didn't cope that well and so when I got scouted for Robin Sparkles I did it because mum needed the money for Katie and stuff so I did it- but it didn't quite go to plan- I was sort of a star but it never really made money- I was an almost provider. Then I came here and became the almost news anchor and became the almost Mrs Ted Mosby. I've always been almost b'

'Robin where is-' She ignored his interlude. She needed to finish this.

'But when I was thinking about it I realised I never felt like I was almost good enough for you- I actually felt good enough. You made me feel good enough. It was that day in the car with Ranjit I realised- you know, the day we tackled Ted and that orchid. But then you had Nora back and watching you and her- it just multiplied everything because I'm sick of being almost and I don't want to be one anymore and you didn't make me feel. And well, you, yeah, you. And then you went and got engaged and I was an almost again- because she was the one now. Not me,'

She finally looked up at him now. Had she actually just said that all out loud? If she had she'd blurted it out so quickly that she had to look at the blue eyes in front of her just to check they'd got the message. And yep, they'd got it alright. They were just staring at her incredulously. She could usually read him, but this time there was nothing. Shit, this was why she shouldn't open up. It doesn't end well for anyone. She wanted so badly to laugh it off, act like it was all a lie- like when she'd tried to get him to open up before- but she couldn't muster the strength to pretend- so she was stuck here being processed from across the table.

She reached over to the sachet jar, this time grabbing a handful and began to carefully smooth and fold again. She needed him to say something but she couldn't look at him anymore.

'She makes me feel like that,'

She looks at him again, slightly raising one eyebrow. Begging him with all her might to carry on

'Unawesome,' She tries to stop it, but she can't help her mouth curling up into a sympathetic tired smile. Only he could make up a word that sums up her whole speech so perfectly. But he doesn't notice her smile. This time it's his turn to stare at the table. 'Because, she wants this normal person. I mean how do you just be normal?'

She just shrugs her shoulders. He's looking at her again now, full on with the face she's only seen glimpses of before and she's strangely comforted by its absolute sincerity. 'Robin' he hasn't called her Robin in ages, it's always Scherbatsky, he says it so softly that it moves something in her she hasn't felt in a long time 'I'm sorry I made you feel almost,' She can feel her eyes welling up but she daren't break this look because for the first time in a long time they're being the people they should and want to be.

* * *

Across town in an apartment building a British woman is sat alone in her fiancé's bathroom. In her shaking hands she holds the test in a clutch of tissues. She can feel the tears streaming down her cheeks as she stares incredulously at the flashing message on the screen. It reads one word that flashes at her mockingly again and again- 'pregnant'.

_A review a day keeps the demons away! Thanks for reading._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry I've been slow again- I've been so busy this summer its just been crazy. As ever thank you my amazing reviewers **_**an0nymouz, Bonobo, hopelessromantic90, MarvelDC superhero fan, Sari, ankita101093, ggroks1800, Lainey & Robin'and'Barney,**_** this next part is dedicated to all of you. Hope you enjoy and please keep reviewing- it really does make my day. **

* * *

**Chapter 7**

As it flashed at her once more she clenched the tissues and hurled it into the trash can on the other side of the room. This could not be happening. Everything was set, she was going to get her happy ever after with her normal perfect handsome rich prince- and it had been going completely to plan- until Edward showed up.

God she hated him. She really really hated that smug Scottish bastard. What right did he have just to show up on her doorstep and tell her he loved her? Stupid, stupid Edward. She had been doing so well forgetting about him- it had been ten months since she'd left London and only now, in these last weeks, with the distraction of planning the wedding was she finally getting past thinking about him all the time. But then four weeks ago she'd got a call, as his name had flashed up on her cell she'd felt her stomach do an actual somersault followed by a reverse flip completed by anything but a perfect landing. She had answered. He was in town on business and he wanted to meet up and of course in the pathetic way she always did with him she went into defence autopilot mode 'of course we can go for diner, it's been so long'. She'd hung up the phone and just stared at picture of the dog on Barney's wall for about ten minutes. Her head was just noise. She had agreed to see him this afternoon.

She didn't need to replay the whole afternoon in her mind again. She didn't need to think about how she'd melted as soon she heard his voice on the intercom, she didn't need to remember how strong his arms were as he'd pulled her into a warm greeting hug and she certainly didn't need to relive the moment the hug had transformed into a kiss that had deepened and resulted in the door being slammed with them both on the inside.

He had left an hour later like he always did- but at least this time he did seem to have an actual meeting. She wished so hard she could block out how he kissed her goodbye, how he'd told her he 'missed her more than she could ever imagine' and how just before he shut the door he turned and just said 'I really loved you Nora'. And he was gone.

Yet here she was four weeks later, tears streaming down her face at the memory with something growing inside her that meant that forgetting was now going to be impossible. Some naive voice inside her head was trying to persuade her that maybe it could be Barney's? But she knew, that had never been the nature of their relationship- sex was never spontaneous with Barney- it was always safe and planned. She knew categorically that they had used protection every time. She also knew Edward had taken no such precaution. God this was a mess. One big mother fucking mess.

She heard the door go about an hour later. She hadn't moved from the bathroom and with Barney's arrival home nor did she want to. She had no idea whatsoever to tell him. She didn't even know what this thing in her stomach meant to her. Did she want to keep it? Did she want Edward's baby? Did she still love Edward? And these were questions he'd undoubtedly ask, questions he had every right to ask. It had killed her having to lie to him about it in the first place. When he'd come home from work that night after it had happened he'd walked into their bedroom and just stared at the sheets and turned to her and asked why she'd changed them. She had just frozen, it was the last question she'd expected and she couldn't even remember her flimsy reply. But she couldn't tell him- it would kill him and it wasn't fair. She had always been of the opinion that one night stands should be kept secret because telling only makes the teller feel better. Because that's all Edward was -a one night stand- a meaningless shag. That's what she'd convinced herself at the time.

But now her fiancé's footsteps were approaching the bathroom door she knew she couldn't lie to herself anymore. Who was she kidding; Edward was not and could never be just a 'one night stand'. So, no, she couldn't just sit here and tell Barney it was all fine. She knew this would probably be the end, but it was time to face up to facts. Barney deserved to be more to someone than a distraction. He was someone's somebody- and maybe without this thing in stomach he could have been hers but she needed to speak to Ed. He wasn't perfect like Barney, he had 'issues' but who was she kidding, she loved him. She loved him so much. It had never seemed this clear or simple before and as her father had always said to her 'if it feels complicated then you're probably doing it wrong'. Ok she was going to have to be brave. She heard his hand on the door handle. She reached out from where she was perched on the toilet seat to let him in. It was time to be honest. She took a deep breath. But she as she opened the door she just saw Robin stood in the doorway. Her arms were bruised, her hair was wayward and she was still wearing the same dress as last night. What the hell had happened?

The two women just sat staring at each other. Whilst Nora continued to analyse the state of her work colleague, Robin's eyes fell on the piles of tissues on the bathroom door and then onto Nora's mascara stained cheeks. Barney, completely unaware of his fiancé's state was calling for her in the living room. He wanted sheets for Robin. Both women heard him telling them Robin was staying here today but they were both still just staring at each other. Both wanting to check the other was ok but neither wanting the other ask what had happened. But through their mutual silence they both heard Barney's footsteps behind them.

Like Robin before him, he stood and observed the tissue mountain that had developed round Nora in their bathroom. What the hell had happened here? Had the Barnacle not had enough drama for one night? He had just wanted to come home, put Robin on the couch, crawl into bed, sleep and maybe try and avoid the fact that he was clearly in love with Robin and/or convince himself that he did love Nora. But no, nothing was ever that simple was it?

Robin turned to face him. He really didn't want her to go but he knew she was going to tell him she was going anyway. And she did, smiling weakly as she did it. And he couldn't argue with the fact she did have a perfectly good bed at home and Ted would take care of her- of course this was all true but the thing was he really didn't want her to leave again, not yet. But she gave him a reassuring nod that told him she'd be OK; she was honestly going straight home this time.

* * *

Three hours later she heard a knock at her front door. Ted had gone for lunch with some girl he was seeing, he'd asked if she wanted him to stay, and although Robin didn't really want to be alone she could see how much he wanted to go (he'd clearly been working on his hair for a good twenty minutes) so she'd decided the best thing-rather than dwelling or analysing what had happened yesterday- was to try and get some sleep.

But the knocking continued, she went to get up and tell the Jehovah's witness to bugger off, but the knocking stopped, and it was replaced by footsteps, had Ted forgotten his keys then found them in his back pocket again? The footsteps were coming towards her door, great, it was going to be Ted coming to brag about his lunch date. 'Oh she was just fantastic, she loves blah and blah blah,' but she braced herself as she heard the steps finally arrive at her door, right, supportive friend face ready, come on then Mosby.

There was another knock, at her door this time, she snuggled down into her duvet, might as well get comfortable for the duration! But as the door opened, it wasn't the elated Mosby face she was expecting, no, it was something else in entirely.

He was still wearing the same suit he had been when she'd left 3 hours or so ago. But his face, his face just looked lost and broken. She had guessed the fact Nora had been sat in a pile of tissues wasn't exactly a good thing but what the hell had happened? She should probably say something, but she had no idea what would be appropriate, he clearly wasn't OK so it would be stupid to ask. But he was just stood in her doorway staring at her, his eyes were glassy but he didn't move them off her for a second. And as he looked at her she realised he didn't want her to talk. No, he just wanted someone.

She shifted slightly across to her old side of the bed and without making a sound pulled back the covers. It was all the invitation he needed as he closed the door behind him and took off his jacket, laying it across her dressing table chair- just like he used to. She followed him with her eyes as he took off his trousers and slowly undid his tie and top few buttons.

He walked silently across the room, slid into the bed and pulled up the covers. They both knew this wasn't about sex. They could do sex, sex was easy, sex could mean nothing- but they both needed more than nothing now, they needed each other to be there- they needed the intimacy.

And as Robin turned to face the window she felt his hands snake round her waist, she wriggled herself back towards him, curling her legs to his angle so they fitted perfectly together-locked under her duvet as he slowly moved his head into the crook of her neck. She felt the flutter of his breath against her ear, it started off shallow becoming more irregular as she felt his body start to shake.

She didn't turn to face him; she just interlocked her fingers with his, gently squeezing his shaking hands, pulling his arms round her tighter. He clung tightly to her waist, as if someone was trying to take her away- but she wasn't going anywhere, she had no idea what had happened with Nora but he needed this. She felt his head nuzzle deeper into her neck and as it did she felt his tears against her skin.

She didn't know why but it was like some sort of trigger and she felt herself begin to well up. God, no, she couldn't just be crying for no reason? That wasn't her, but as she tried to shrug it away she felt him pull her closer still, their bodies now in full contact, and as she felt the shake of his shoulders she couldn't stop herself. So for the first time in his company, with no excuses, bits or gimmicks she just let her barriers down and let herself cry.

* * *

It had been the best date in history! She was the one, he was completely and utterly sure, like he had been sure before- but this- this girl was different. She was smart and sexy oh and not forgetting funny. God, he couldn't wait to tell everyone about her, they would love her too- Ted Mosby you've finally done it- you've found the elusive one.

As Ted reached his front door he positively bounded up to Robin's door, he had to tell her all about it, it might take her mind off whatever had happened last night. He knocked on the door and with no reply opened it anyway- he just had to tell someone.

But he stopped in his tracks. There in front of him were two of his best friends, fast asleep yet inseparably intertwined. It was weird to see them both so still and so quiet, but they looked sort of like, like they were supposed to look and as he noted Barney's head so perfectly placed in the crook of her neck he smiled to himself. He had watched the dance they had done round each other since the first time they slept together, but now, completely fast asleep, all the masks and facades were irrelevant, they both just lay, sleeping so peacefully- together.

He watched them for a moment before tiptoeing backwards out of Robin's room, shutting the door quietly on his way out. They were fools, both of them if they didn't just take the leap this time. He didn't know what had happened with Nora or whatever but it was clear that that perfect picture he'd just been witness to was right, that it needed to happen. He was so lost in his romantic notation that he almost didn't feel his phone vibrating against his thigh, ahh it was her already! He cleared his throat and left the thoughts of his friends' behind- right now, T-Mose has his own love story to attend to.


	8. Chapter 8

Soooo it's been awhile! Ha- life has been hectic and its only now that I've sat down to revise that I've somehow found time to update! Im sorry its taken so long and I'm afraid this chapter isn't even that long… but I think you might enjoy it! This is probably the last chapter partially because I'm busy and partially because I find it hard writing things that aren't canon and this is so different from canon now that its tough. I hope you enjoy it and as ever your reviews make me so very happy.

A/N: I still don't own the characters and remember in this story nothing past the season 6 finale has occurred… (so no Quinn, Kevin etc)

Chapter 8

As she wakes she finds herself in the right arms and it feels good, it feels perfect. She hears the doubt mounting an attack in her head but she's older now, she knows the pattern too well and for the first time she just quashes it because even though she's never been a believer in fate, this is meant to be, this is going to be.

She doesn't want to wake him, partially because she's scared it'll ruin it all, but partially because she is enjoying being able to look him again. She hadn't noticed it from a distance but now she was up close she couldn't help but notice how he'd aged. He had frown lines now, his hair line was (albeit only fractionally) further back and he just looked so tired.

She closed her eyes and nuzzled gently back into his chest. It was so different now; the first time it had all been about pent up passion and confused feelings. Before, they could hardly even have a conversation, just teetering on the edge of serious topics before taking the easy way out and having sex on the kitchen floor but now here they were, spending the night together with no sex or passion, just intimacy and although she thought she'd be scared she wasn't, no, this felt right.

It was half an hour before she felt him stir and almost reflexively she nuzzled gently into his chest just to let him know she was there, she would always be there. She felt his arm muscles flex slightly and as they did pulling her gently towards him. She rolled obediently closer towards him as he planned a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

'Morning,' His voice was soft and it made the hairs on her neck stand up. She brought her free hand up, draping it across his chest,

'Morning,'

They lay there in silence for almost half an hour after that. His head was exploding- how did this happen? One minute he's engaged to Nora and now he's in bed with Robin and that was a lot to process. It was weird; he'd come here last night for, well, he didn't really know what he'd wanted. He'd wanted a friend but he'd also wanted a lover and for someone to just hold him and make it all OK. Before now he'd though that was a three person job (namely Ted, some chick and his mum) but now he realised this one person, this incredibly beautiful woman with her head in the crook of his neck, had done all three without even saying a word and as harsh as it seemed it made Nora and the whole affair seem irrelevant because she could never have achieved that 3 in 1, no, she wouldn't have ever come close.

Did he love Robin? Of course he did. He knew as well as she did that deep down he'd never stopped. He knew he had to tell her at some point, but right now just seemed wrong because she'd be able to shrug it off, say it was because he was feeling sad about Nora- but he knew wholeheartedly that wasn't the case. But he also knew there was no rush because this was it, no more gimmicks or girlfriend roulette, he was ready to do this with her, he was ready to settle down.

He smiled; he'd never thought about the phrase 'settle down' before and now he was it seemed so inappropriate. He wasn't settling, how could anyone 'settle' for Scherbatsky, no, you chose, hell you won Scherbatsky. And down? This didn't feel down- down implied the end. No, this was the beginning, so no, he wouldn't 'settle down' because he knew they were too awesome for that- they'd do whatever they'd do in their own way, whilst being awesome, because that was them, that was their muddled style and he loved it, he loved them, and my god did he love her.

He knew they had their issues to work through, and he knew they would have to talk, but he was ready for that now because he'd do whatever it took to keep her around. To keep her here waking up next to him every morning, hopefully every morning for the rest of their lives because it was, her and only her that didn't make that terrifying.

So as he felt her breathing slow he took his hand and trailed it gently along her naked arm. She nuzzled deeper up into her neck and tapped her hand gently on his chest. He didn't want to move, this was perfect.

But eventually they had to. Robin's alarm brought them both back from their perfect lull. She uncoiled her body from round his for a second to hit the snooze button.

'Do you have work?' She rolled back over to see him propped up on his arm. His eyes were looking into hers so intensely that she knew that yep, today Robin Scherbatsky was going to have a 'terrible cold' that meant bed 'rest' was required.

She knew they had so much to talk about, but this time she knew that by not talking about it this second they weren't dodging it. They would talk about it, but she wasn't scared because by just looking into his eyes she could see he loved her and that he wasn't going anywhere this time. No, this time, they had all the time in the world.

But at this exact time, at 7.37am on this autumn morning, there was only one thing they were going to be doing- and it certainly didn't involve talking…

The end

Thank you all so much for reading, one cheeky review before you go?


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